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At our house, in the Bay Area in the 1960s, comfort food was not macaroni and cheese. In fact, I never even tried the Kraft product until I was an adult. When my mother wanted to get something on the table fast that would shut us kids up- it was tacos! Rosarito brand refried beans were a staple in our house. The tacos weren't authentic, but they were good and these were the roots of my love affaire with the bean.

I have made countless pots of beans and have yet to encounter a disaster unless I strayed from my proven techniques. Follow these simple instructions and you too will have a pot of delicious, healthy goodness as often as you like and for just pennies a serving.

1. I cook beans in a Crock Pot. It's about $15 and nothing I've found works better. I wash the beans and search for tiny bits of dirt or rock. It's not likely that you'll find anything but it only takes once to make you search ever after. Saute some onion slices and some fat (lard for me, thanks) and let the onion wilt. Add this to the pot, along with the rinsed beans and water to cover by about 2 inches. Do this in the morning, on High, and by dinnertime you have perfect beans. There is no soaking, no changing of the water, no fussing- just beans.

2. If you want to presoak the beans, don't change the water. We know you have been told this will help a disturbing side effect of eating beans, but it's not based on science and it's not true. The only way to control nature's little joke is to use a product like Beano (which I've never tried) or eat more beans. The more often you eat beans, the less of a problem you will have. A can of beer to replace some of the water or a sprig of epazote (we offer it fresh, by the way) are also thought to help. We don't know if it's true or not, but using beer and epazote makes more culinary sense than changing the water. But if you follow our method, you do not have to soak the beans anyway.

3. While the beans are cooking, leave them alone! Don't add tomatoes or salt or keep stirring them. Acid and salt will keep the beans firm and should not be added until the end.

4. Epazote is a weed and I've tried using it for years, never really liking the result, until very recently, and now I can't cook beans without it. The plant itself gives off a scent not unlike burnt tires. Take a stem with lots of leaves and let it cook with the beans for about 10 minutes. Then remove it and throw it out. It really is great but don't go for more than 10 minutes or you will regret it!

5. If you find that you need to add more water while the beans are cooking, make sure it is hot water or the beans will remain hard. And never use hot tap water for any kind of cooking. It's filled with lots of unpleasant things you don't want to take in. Use a tea kettle instead.